She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
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