i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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