so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You need a sexual gate keeper
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
