Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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