oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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