He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
