what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
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