Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
