She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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