Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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