lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize