I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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