In America we eat man semen.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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