I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
