i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
