My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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