wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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