guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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