He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
