So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
