in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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