Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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