I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
