Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize