i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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