are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
