His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm always down for nudity.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
