Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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