kristin has been a bad kristin
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
MIDGETS
????
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
