Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
