it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
