my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
