This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
