therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
