We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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