she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize