Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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