I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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