she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
