My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Girls should come with a carfax report
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
