I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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