My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
