Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
