I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We had sex on a dog bed..
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
