I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
