THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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