Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
