My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
