TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
