How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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