she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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