I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
