Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
