Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
