I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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