don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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