tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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