i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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