He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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