I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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