I just pynch a tree in the face
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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