Reggie can tackle my bush.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
