And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
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The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
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He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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