No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
