who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
